She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
