if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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