How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
