But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
