You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
