thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize