Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
