She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
