butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
