what day is it and did you see me today?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
