She's like a pop up book from hell.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
