you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
