I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
