Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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