Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
