he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize