i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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