Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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