Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
