hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
