I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
