this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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