Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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