so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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