Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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