just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
