she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
