It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
