It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize