You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
