I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
