Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
