We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my being single is dangerous.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm just crazy horny about you
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
