How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
