Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
