I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
