Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
