I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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