Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize