There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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