is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
