I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize