i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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