a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You pole danced in your parka.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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