You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
