You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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