Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
