I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The ass gains better be worth it
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