i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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