Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize