I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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