It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
