I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
