I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize