He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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