i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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