Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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