he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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