It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
