We got so high we made milksteak
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
