his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize