I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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