you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
