You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
