they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
