at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
