been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
