I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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