yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
