so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
