i need an iv and a liver transplant
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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