Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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