we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
