my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
