he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ttyl tear gas
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
